Before My Eyes

I just have to take a moment and say how much I'm enjoying the stage Katya's in right now. I've always been a baby person, but I was somehow a little unprepared for the demanding 24/7-ness of caring for an infant. A baby (especially a nursing one) depends on you for everything. I loved my baby dearly, but when a baby is always in your arms, it occasionally gets a little hard to see her clearly. Now that I look back, I see that as a first time mom I worried a lot. Was she hungry, would she sleep, was she going to explode when we were out in a public place? I also had a lot of cares and worries about events that were happening in our lives at the time and I think those distractions sometimes made it harder to relax, take a breath and say "life is ok." But at the same time, Katya brought so much laughter and smiles into our lives. Even as a baby she had that Katya quality that I haven't found a word for yet. I miss her round babyness, but I'm so enjoying all the new things she is doing. Now that Katya is a bit older, she plays while I do chores (usually) and I listen to the "conversations" she has with herself. I become aware of how she is an independent little person with her own emerging view of life. I love seeing the original things she comes up with, the interesting things she says, the funny things she does. Katya the baby was constantly changing. Katya the toddler is full of surprises. I want to catch and hold every minute.